Cinema Tuesdays {Our Man Flint}

Oh no! Some sort of super villain has seized control of the weather! And they wont provide a list of the demands!

The world's leaders are in a panic. If you control the weather, then you control the planet. And the enemy has already discovered all of their agents' identities. What to do?

Write down every country's requirements for an agent to save the world and turn it over to Z.O.W.I.E. (Zonal Organization for World Intelligence and Espionage) and let their computer decide.

The computer answers with one man: Derek Flint!

Slight problem, Flint doesn't want the job.

That is until an assassination attempt is directed at him, using a poisoned dart and a harp. Then he has to take the job. Well, what's taking a couple days off in order to save the world, if it will prevent the enemy from interrupting his dinner plans.

But who is Derek Flint? Well, he's cooler and cleverer than 007. He's a martial arts expert and a scientist who doesn't follow the government rules when going on a mission. Plus, no one can walk cool James Coburn can.

But he just doesn't want to work every time that the government asks. He has his own private plane in order to teach ballet in Moscow. And a trendy mustard coloured flat.

With one of the coolest beds ever!

And four adoring girlfriends to spend time with. Unlike Bond, Flint doesn't treat women as objects that he can gain something from. Although they aren't on screen for more then a few minutes, each one of his girlfriends has different interests and he does his best to ensure that none of them are left out or ignored.

Flint also has the second best tailor in the entire spy genre. Not only does Flint keep his clothes spotless at all times, but he also has a reversible tuxedo! More spies should have been equipped with a basic reversible wardrobe.

Of course Flint is not your ordinary run-of-the-mill spy. He can tell the exact amount of saffron used in bouillabaisse just by taking one whiff of it (quite important to the plot too).

He can kill a fly in a fraction of a second.

And he can diagnose and perform rudimentary surgeries in even the poshest of restaurants.

Unlike some other spies, he does not carry a gun. Or even a briefcase with concealed knives and bombs. Instead Flint has a lighter with 82 functions. 83, if you wish to light a cigar.

And a watch that doubles as a microscope. What Flint does in order to relax is to stop his heart for several hours (it's a spoof, you can do that) and has a timer in his watch that will massage a vein in order to restart the heart.

He also has a stethoscope built into his collar buttons and tie, as it saves him the trouble of having to carry one around.

This is Gila. She works for Galaxy (takeoff of SPECTRE) and it is her task to kill Flint and submit evidence, such as his body. But that doesn't mean that she has to dress poorly or have an ugly flat in order to carry out her orders.

Naturally, neither Gila nor anyone else can kill Flint. So it's time to fall back on Plan B: kidnap his girlfriends and take them to Galaxy's hollowed out volcano.

Yes, they do make fun of James Bond (being made in 1965, this is the first major Bond spoof) as the characters in this film find him hard to believe, compared to Flint, who is truly unbelievable.

Galaxy's demand in order to release control of the weather: destruction of all nuclear weapons, dissolution of all armies and navies.

What Galaxy wants is to create their vision of a brainwashed utopia, wherein men are kept happy through use of drugs and women are only seen as pleasure units.

When you're a villain, bent on world domination, you have to have a cool lair.

Don't you hate it when scientists go bad? Reading left to right are Dr. Krupov, Dr. Wu and Dr. Schneider. They decide that Flin't sense of individualism is so strong, that brainwashing would be a waste and so he must be terminated, but not by Gila.

The women shown here are being hypnotized into believing that "it is an honour to offer my body in service to Galaxy". After successful conversion into Pleasure Units, women are then taken to the Reward Rooms to await the arrival of male workers, who are slightly high on drugs.

After finding all of his girlfriends, he tells them to stay there until he comes to get them after rigging the volcano to explode. Although this action may be regarded as sexist, it does make the final action scene watchable, as there are no screaming women to rescue or to accidentally reset any timers or to point a gun and blindly shoot.

"Purple Alert. Flint is alive." I don't know what a Purple Alert is, but it sounds better then Red Alert.

How does Flint blow up an entire volcano and why is a waterfall so important? Why does the film revolve around a jar of cold cream and some bouillabaisse? You'll have to watch it for yourself, but there is a happy ending, or at least until the sequel there is.

I couldn't find a trailer that I could repost, but a did find a clip show that someone made in order to highlight Jerry Goldsmith's groovy musical score.